I've reached the point where I'm giving up, and I'll tell you why. I no longer enjoy the process... I no longer believe that I'm better off with someone else... I no longer believe that I will find someone that I can live my life with. I'm giving up.
It's sad and somewhat liberating. I was spending multiple hours on dating apps, and had 10 different apps on my phone at the same time. Many of which I would "match" with girls who never talked to me, or go out on a first date and never go anywhere farther than that. I've dated girls here and there throughout my life, but ultimately it was never anything really worth it. Fuck, I spent more time trying to get away from girls that thought I should be interested in them, no knowing that the whole time I felt like my energy was being sapped by their needy personalities.
So, I'm giving up on love and I'll live my life how I want to... hanging out with my friends, traveling the world, and playing golf. Bye.