Missing your last shot?

What happens if you missed your last shot... what if you didn’t even know it was your last chance at love... what would you do with your life after that ... what is your purpose?

These are interesting thoughts, that I just came across recently. I mean, I’ve had my fair share of women that I was interested in... less that were interested in me... and maybe one that had something mutual, that could’ve worked out in a different time or different place. I know the time and place specifically... it was a time in my life where I wasn’t up for someone forcing themselves into my life, and she was ready to stop everything and move in. Looking back though, years later now, and she’s moved on and is married... I think that was my last chance at ever being married or finding someone I could “love”. I almost wonder if there’s some truth to the notion that “everyone settles when they get married”. I’ve never wanted to settle on “having someone in my life”.

I’ve always gone along with this notion that I could (eventually) be totality ok by myself forever, and I think that could still be the truth... but will I even let myself get to that point? I feel like I go through old memories all the time, and end up putting myself in a different time or a different situation than I am in today.

I’m not sure it’s any more than an “interesting thought”, that I could be somewhere else in my life. Would I be happy, if I thought I settled for someone? Would I have actually settled, once we really got down to a real relationship? More than likely I’ll never know... I’ve had girls that I’ve been close to walk away from me like it was nothing...  women that I’ve been attracted to decide I was  “too” something (insert adjective here)... and most women that are interested in me, I’m just not attracted to. I will say that I’m happy that I’m not with most of the girls that I’ve had in my life... most of them had really shitty personalities. But I guess everyone has one person that they wonder about...

PS:  it's nice to have some time, to look again at things like this.  Everything, personality wise, that I didn't like about this person is still there.  She's still the same person ... she just found someone that is probably the same as her.