Fighting for out of your league

I've had a lot of time to think recently, and to be a bit more alone than I normally am. Being on planes flying around the world, screwing with your sleeping patterns, and having a couple more days from work will do that a guy I guess.  Plus drinking by yourself might have its usefulness. All joking aside and with the above being said, I think I've had an epiphany, or maybe I'm finally able to put into words, something that I've been thinking about for a long time now.

I always seem to be interested in girls that are far out of my league. 

Whether I try to talk myself into the fact that she isn't, to try to calm myself down, the fact of the matter though, is that she always is. Every girl that I've ever been fully interested in has been so amazingly far out of my league. The question that keeps popping up in my head though (and I don't have a solid answer for) ... Do I continue doing that to myself (I'm not getting any younger you know)? Do I continue to be interested in girls that are so far out of my league? And if the answer continues to be yes, then I need to learn, at some point in the very near future, to stop getting discouraged if it doesn't work out or I don't really get a chance.  Because it's really not meant to work out in the first place. The hardest part of continuing down this destructive path I have myself on, will be to stop getting discouraged time after time. To realize that I would need it to really work but one time, just one time, it will work out and then I'll have found that absolutely amazing girl that I've been chasing for my lifetime. I guess the real epiphany comes in realizing that the reason I always chase after girls out of my league, is because of an incessant need to find someone that is better than me. Someone to learn from, someone to grow with, and someone to be a better person because of. I've always liked the quote "If you're the smartest person in the room, then you're in the wrong room", but I seem to be only just realizing that I'm actually trying to live that way.

At the end of the day, I'll have to keep trying. So maybe I have my answer after all.  I don't know any other way, and it really only takes one chance after all, right? Like Blake Shelton says, in his song "Over" ... "I don't wanna fall asleep alone, and wake up knowing that I died without the one."

Off to Australia

Happy New Year to you. It sure has been awhile since I've sat down to this mess of a blog. I do have a couple posts, right off the hop, to bring in the new year. A lot has gone on, for the better, in 2012. I'm still processing how absolutely amazing my friend is, to be quite honest. She's truly one of the very few, very special, very attractive, and very amazing people in my life. I think I'm just going get into the list before I start missing her already.

So, without further adieu, in no real order (because I've lost track of days)... My amazing trip to Sydney.

• I watched The Bourne Legacy, and Ted on the way there ...The Avengers, and The Wrestler on the way back.  Ate four plane meals, snacks in the meantime, listened to hours of music, and slept.
• My friend met me straight off at the airport, with a huge smile, a kiss on the cheek, and a "where the fuck have you been?" type of look, 
• We walked all around Sydney, 
• We saw the Sydney Opera House, 
• We saw the Sydney Harbour bridge, 
• We saw Hyde Park in Sydney, 
• We went down to The Rocks, 
• We took a ferry to Manly for some beach time, 
• We put our feet into the Pacific Ocean, for the first time, in December, that I've been in an Ocean, 
• We took a train to Sydney Olympic Park, 
• We rode in all sorts of public transportation, 
• We watched a live Twenty20 Big Bash cricket match and she explained what was going on, 
• We went to a great wedding, for a long time friend, and she met most all of my friends that I have from growing up. 
• She danced the night away at the reception, while I sang the tunes on the bus to the after party. 
• We ate some proper fish and chips, burgers and chips, Chinese, sushi, Mexican, and a brunch that consisted of French toast, maple syrup, bacon, and vanilla ice cream (twice on the brunch), 
• We watched the New Years Eve fireworks, from the stands of a cricket grounds in Valcluse (so there weren't as many people and we could see the whole harbor), 
• We watched the World Series of Darts (to which she even found me darts with American flags), 
• We went to an amazing 20,000 seat stadium for an A-league match and hung out with all the officials after the game (because she just happened to know the center), 
• We watched the sun rise on Bondi Beach on New Year's Day (just to see the sun rise on the beginning of a great year for both of us), 
• We got thrown out of a bar, after I drank three beers, because there was a fight, the police was there, and I was tired (read: "looked drunk"), 
• We got asked, "Who do we sing for?" To which the correct response is "We sing for Wanderers", especially while wearing an USA away top. 

I'm sure I'll think of more that went on, but I'm currently in the process of trying to shut down my brain and go to sleep. No matter what, you can see from the list above that my friend certainly showed me a lot in a five day span. I'll never be able to repay her for the hospitality and generosity that she's showed me, but I surely hope that I have the chance to try. I'd really like to see her again.

Flyers/Rangers 24/7 HBO Series - Ep. 3

This is the show I've been looking forward to.  Last year, the Caps/Pens game, at Verizon Center before the Winter Classic, was absolutely amazing.  It seemed like an hour long look into one game.

Another year, another family skate and bad sweater party ... this year for the Rangers (and yes, the Flyers one was before in the 24/7 series).  Some amazing sweaters and outfits for the party.  You have to love any time someone has a sweater that lights up ha.

I really like Claude Giroux.  Glad to see that things weren't too bad, gets right back into the mix, and has some nice banter at the faceoff dot.  Laviolette gets to show he's that asshole I talked about last post.  Still a fucking joke.  It's not like Ott did anything wrong, and Laviolette proves to be a dick yet again.  There's no need for him to bust through and go to the locker room ... then to laugh it off at the end of the game proves what a fucking joke he is.

Again, HBO does a great job bringing hockey players to the fan as people.  Seeing Gaborik pick out a tree, and then carry it home was pretty funny.  There's a bit of the Islanders/Rangers, cross town, rivalry, but too much time has gone by in this episode.  Bring on the Flyers/Rangers game ... all cameras on deck.

This game starts with the teams walking into MSG, and dives right into the game.  It's time like this where I wonder why Shop.NHL.com doesn't sell any team issued gear.  There are some really nice tops that fans can't buy.  I'd like to pick up a nice Caps jacket, just like the players wear, but I digress.  The hitting in this game is intense, and the HBO cameras are right there to capture it all.  Something I've noticed throughout the three episodes so far though is the addition of the coaches being mic-ed up.  I don't really like how HBO drops them into situations ... it's a bit distracting actually.  Rupp is great, his talk is spot on and right to point.  Then, another look into the war room.  Just like last year, a look into what goes on during reviews.  It's awesome to see that, and see what gets looked at to check those goals.  I also love how HBO goes back and forth between coaches at 2nd intermission.  Both coaches working on their teams, imploring them to work harder and to score the next goal.  Then the Rangers come right out and make it happen ... 3-0 Rangers.  The game ends up 4-2, just like Laviolette said, only it's the Rangers that win this one.  HBO didn't seem to do as much on this game as they did in the Caps/Pans game last season.  Maybe there's more to talk about, or the game wasn't like last year's.  Who knows.

Christmas at the Bryzgalov household shows his husky, and then another interview ... talking about the many faces of Iyla.  Bryz doesn't seem the happy-go-lucky person he was over the previous two episodes though.  The last couple games seem to be getting to him a bit.  They haven't turned out great for the guy.  Then they go from there to Brian Boyle and his 12 siblings.  13 kids ... that's amazing.  It appears that HBO was more about putting together the Flyers and Rangers as "people that just happen to play hockey", instead to putting more into the Flyers/Rangers game.  I'm guessing this is the reason.

Then we get to see the rink going in at Citizens Bank Park.  This is the point where "Welcome to the Black Parade" became an opening that most Caps and Pens fan equate to a camera getting into Heinz Field.  This year also shows some awesome pictures of the rink and the beginning of construction.  Going into the Winter Classic, the Rangers are the team that's playing well ... and the Flyers are a bit up and down.  One more episode, that concludes with the Winter Classic.

Flyers/Rangers 24/7 HBO Series - Ep. 2

Ok ... so I'm late to this.  Moving from place to place, not having HBO, or not having the internet makes it pretty hard to update things.  With that being said, I have a place to watch some 24/7 and now updating with my thoughts.

Episode 2 opens up with Henrik Lundvist jamming out with John MacEnroe, for a charity concert.  Lundvist seems like an all around great Swede, and not just a great goalie.  Much nicer to see him giving to charity and not just giving to his teammates (read: lost credit card roulette in episode 1).  Then we get a look at an old friend ... the Capitals losing streak.  We saw a lot more of it last year on 24/7, but this year it was just one big loss against the Flyers.

I really like the road trip portions of this show.  It shows the watcher how teams get together.  Jagr's dry humor is spot on when he asks Bryz to sit somewhere else, and then picks up his food and moves away.  Ilya is still fantastically quirky.  I really hope next year is just "Ilya Bryzgalov 24/7".  Episode 2 has showed me why I have a bit more respect for John Tortorella.  His intermission speech helped his team out ... maybe not in the end, but they picked it up and listened to him.  Episode 2 also showed me why I can't fucking stand Peter Laviolette.  He's an asshole.  He's every whiney high school coach.  He's a fucking joke.   Maybe a good coach, but still a fucking joke.

We also get to see a different side of Torts ... something far different than most fans see on TV.  The moments with Liam are pretty cool.  You can actually see that Tortorella is happy to talk about this young guy.  Plus Liam's room is badass.  It's all Rangers in there.  It was awesome to hear Torts talk about giving Liam and his family tickets to the Winter Classic.  Another reason to think this guy is better than most people see.

Ok ... just when I think Bryzgalov can't get better, he comes off with another interview.  He's dead on though, who's more crazy ... him or defensemen ha.  Then the next question and subsequent pause, smile, and laughter from cameramen was just hilarious.  HBO does the Coyotes/Rangers game like it does.  A lot of emphasize on a hard fought game, some referees talking in between periods, and a goal with 0.1 seconds on the clock.  HBO turns right around and does the same thing with the Bruins/Flyers game, and more concussion testing on the show.  That's pretty interesting to me, to be able to see that kind of stuff.  Sucks that this keeps happening throughout the NHL though.

I've left Episode 2 looking forward for Episode 3.  These episodes are the ones where HBO gets everything right ... when the two Winter Classic teams play a week or so before the outdoor game.  There's nothing better than having 12 or so cameras in one arena, showing fans the game within the game.

Flyers/Rangers 24/7 HBO Series - Ep. 1

So ... 1 year ago, HBO stepped into showing everyone (fans and non-fans alike) the inside workings of the NHL.  This year seems to be much of the same, just with the Flyers and Rangers, on their way to the Winter Classic in Philadelphia.

This show is still absolutely amazing, however I just don't feel it this season.  I say that because I have no love/hate relationship with this series.  It's actually quite refreshing to just watch it as a tv show, and not look any deeper into anything that's going on.  I like how HBO has changed the one on one interviews a bit.  Last season, HBO had some kind of Big Brother "closet confession" type of look to their interviews ... this season, it's a much better version.  I don't like how the coaches have such a big part of the first episode.  I know that both coaches are big parts of the team, and both are very opinionated.  However, neither of them play the game.  I feel like HBO figured out, from last season, that both the Pens and Caps coaches were show stoppers.  This season, they've decided to force that upon everyone.

The Giroux concussion came off quite sadly.  That guy is having a great season, and something freak has him out.  It's not like seeing Crosby's concussion in the Winter Classic of 2011, because Giroux seemed more together, but it's still pretty sad to see the training staff having to tell Laviolette about the extent of the injury.  Bryzgalov is hilarious ... in a "I'm not quite sure what's so funny" type of way.  I honestly feel like Ilya doesn't find anything wrong with what he's talking about, but man he's an interesting person.  Ryan Callahan's family ties to Buffalo was cool.  It's nice to see families showing up, in a suite, in order to watch their child, grandchild, nephew, etc. do what he loves.

All in all, I feel like this year's 24/7 will be just as well done as last season was.  The music throughout is spot on, the camera work is fantastic, and the production of the series is just plain amazing.  It's a great series, for the big time hockey fan, the casual hockey fan, and the random sports fan alike.  It's really the way that sports should be shown.  I'm looking forward to the Flyers/Rangers game coming up this week.  Those games are where the series are perfect.  HBO really shows, one single game, in the closest access than any fan will ever have.

He's back, ladies and gentleman

Well, it's been awhile.  Soccer is over for this season, and I'm wondering if it was a success or not.  I refereed less games this season, and made only a bit less money.  More D1 games will do that, and a check for $383.14 for one game really helps.  Plus the house is almost mine ... 9 days now.  Then I'll head in the house next Wednesday, to get pictures of what it looks like now.  Because within a couple days from then, it'll be a completely different place ... it'll be my place.  The flooring is bought.  The countertops are bought.  The cabinets are bought.  But there's so much more stuff that needs to be done before anything can happen.  In no order:

• washer and dryer
• refrigerator
• range
• dish washer
• carpet and related carpet installation
• front bookcases, to create my "library"
• paint
• lighting

All in all, I've gotten stuff done and have a lot more to go.  I'm looking forward to the end of this year.  2011 will always go down as the year that started off with so much promised, and then just stopped talking to me.  After almost 11 months, I feel like Rocky.  I've gotten the shit kicked out of me this whole year, but should get in a big punch before the end of the round.  Next year will be better.

Whatever doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger.

"Perfect" is a farce

I've heard the term "perfect" so often over the past 2 years, that I'm honestly losing contact with what it could possibly mean. So I went to Marriam and Webster to ask, and they gave me this:

per·fect adj \pər-fikt\

Definition of Perfect:

1.

·        a : being entirely without fault or defect : flawless <a perfect diamond>

·        b : satisfying all requirements : accurate

·        c : corresponding to an ideal standard or abstract concept <a perfect gentleman>

·        d : faithfully reproducing the original; specifically : letter-perfect

·        e : legally valid

The definition continues to go on and on through 8 points, which is interesting to me that even the definition of "perfect", isn't perfect. Nothing is "perfect" really because it's in most people's human nature to continue to look into something that's better. No job is "perfect" because people are always looking to make more money, see what else is out there, or going back to school to get a master's degree. No physical possession is "perfect". There's absolutely no such thing as "the perfect house", since people are always looking for something that's bigger, nicer, or they always need to make sure that it keeps that "unused" feel to it. No car is "perfect", since people always look around at other's cars and feel like there's something better for them out there. Something more "family oriented", something faster, etc.  The word "perfect" is such a farce that it's perfect. There's absolutely nothing in this world, that is inherently perfect.

So ... why have a word then that's such a farce? Here's where I contradict myself whole heartedly because I do think that decisions can be perfect, when looked at in a specific snapshot of time. I also feel that a relationship can be perfect, for the 2 people involved, however a relationship, as a concept and how it fits into everything else in life, is not "perfect". Even if you have a great relationship, the off comment of "look at her" or pointing out every attractive girl that walks by, makes the relationship no longer perfect.  I believe there are flashes of perfect all around, however I'll never believe that any one person's life is "perfect". If you already have a "perfect" life, why live anymore? If a word that's supposed to be perfect, needs a disclaimer, is it perfect at all?

The reason I bring this up now is two-fold. One, it's because I just can't hold it in anymore. "Perfect" is a joke, when used in my life right now. Two, it's because I'm looking into the possibility of getting a new job and buying a new house. Both things will be absolutely "perfect" for me ... for this exact moment of my life. I'll be learning new skills, meeting new people, learning how to live by myself, and actually using a house as a place to live. But how perfect can something be? That's what I guess I'm really struggling with. A new job, a new house, and a new chapter in my life is exactly what's needed in my life right now. But will it be "perfect"? I guess that'll be determined at another juncture. All I know is that I continue to realize that I'll talk to less and less people once I live by myself. And that will be perfect.