Honesty

Do people really want honesty?  This is something that I struggle with often.

When someone asks me a question ... 1) If I know you well enough, should I tell you exactly what I think?  2)  If I know you well enough, should I tell you what you ultimately want to hear?  3)  If I don't know you that well, should I just lie to you because you won't know the difference anyway?

I feel like there are actually some people in this world that want to know the truth, for better or for worse, because they are actually trying to become better people or learn more about themselves.  The problem, I find, is the tweeners ... the people that tell others they want to hear the truth, but then use that truth to prove that you were wrong, don't know what you're talking about, or just don't believe that's what you just said.

By trait I am pretty shy, actually I'd say reserved.  I'm probably the most perfect combination of my mother and father that you could possibly get.  A chameleon, if you must ... someone that's quite shy, however can hold a conversation with just about anyone, and in the right situation can feel quite comfortable holding that conversation.  I'd like to change.  I'd like to become more out going, as I've gotten older.  I'd like to be able to tell everyone the truth, but that's the problem.  That's where the "more out going" turns into "going back to what I've always known".  Avoiding confrontation is something that I do really well ... I've taken tests to prove that.

It seems to me that people don't want others to be more out going by becoming more truthful ... they want others to become more out going by just doing whatever the group is doing.  Hopefully my observations are skewed or even flat out wrong.  I'm not sure I'd be happy living in a place where I'm trying to always be a chameleon, in the sense that I need to change in order for people to accept me.