"I'm not exactly sure what happened" seems to be the theme of 2011, at least so far this year for me. There have been two big utterances of this phrase, and it's probably been used in passing at other times.
I write this morning after the Caps season has come to an end. They played well through their first round dismantling of the New York Rangers, however never really showed up for Round 2. Maybe it was the weather ... maybe it was a team familiar with their style ... maybe it was a hot goalie ... maybe it was a trap system. I'm not exactly sure what happened, but getting swept from the Stanley Cup Playoffs wasn't what I envisioned. At the end of the day, I didn't expect the Caps to win the Stanley Cup this season. Nor will I ever expect the Caps to win the Stanley Cup. That's for the more brazen or more entitled fan bases out there ... or even the other 85% of the Caps fans now. It's not for me. But maybe, just maybe, I started to care. Maybe I made time to watch the games or maybe I cheered a little louder than I really wanted to. Maybe I started to believe something good could actually happen. At the end of the day though, all I did was believe in a lie. I should have listened to my own advice. I shouldn't have cared about an outcome that I can't control at all. Maybe I should have just learned from what happened to me earlier in the year. Maybe I should have realized my "she's doesn't call back" analogy was spot on. But where's the fun in that?
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
Playoffs? Playoffs?
Here we go people ... the 2011 Playoffs start, for the Capitals, on Wednesday. The Caps are playing the Rangers again, in a rematch of a 7 Game thriller from a couple years ago, and I refuse to care. Don't get me wrong, I'll watch the games, just like I would any other Caps game. I refuse to make time for the games, employ superstitions, like I would in previous years, or live and die with how this hockey team plays in the 2nd Season. I just don't care.
My reasoning for this ... everything that I have started to care about in 2011, has just fallen apart without even a peep as to why it happened or how I could have prevented the crash. The nervousness stage has kicked in without a problem, but as soon as I start to feel like something good could really happen ... boom. Like a Gregg Olson curve ball, whatever it was fell right off the table. There's just no need for me to care. I might start caring in a month or so, if the Capitals figure out a way to get a couple rounds into the Eastern Conference playoffs. Maybe I'll make time for the games, but I just don't see myself pouring my heart and soul into anything right now. Disappointment has been far too close behind caring for the first 4+ months of this year. For me, this has been a successful season for the boys in Red, White, and Blue. The Capitals started out on fire, went through a rough stretch with the HBO cameras in tow, they changed the way they played hockey ... no more of the "run-and-gun offense" and a bit more of the "shutdown defense", they won the Winter Classic, started winning games after the All-Star break, and ended up winning the Southeast Division and the Eastern Conference, again. Players like Marcus Johansson, Karl Alzner, and John Carlson have grown up right in front of my eyes ... and the additions of Jason Arnott, and Dennis Wideman have paid huge dividends after the trade deadline. This has been a successful season.
My reasoning for this ... everything that I have started to care about in 2011, has just fallen apart without even a peep as to why it happened or how I could have prevented the crash. The nervousness stage has kicked in without a problem, but as soon as I start to feel like something good could really happen ... boom. Like a Gregg Olson curve ball, whatever it was fell right off the table. There's just no need for me to care. I might start caring in a month or so, if the Capitals figure out a way to get a couple rounds into the Eastern Conference playoffs. Maybe I'll make time for the games, but I just don't see myself pouring my heart and soul into anything right now. Disappointment has been far too close behind caring for the first 4+ months of this year. For me, this has been a successful season for the boys in Red, White, and Blue. The Capitals started out on fire, went through a rough stretch with the HBO cameras in tow, they changed the way they played hockey ... no more of the "run-and-gun offense" and a bit more of the "shutdown defense", they won the Winter Classic, started winning games after the All-Star break, and ended up winning the Southeast Division and the Eastern Conference, again. Players like Marcus Johansson, Karl Alzner, and John Carlson have grown up right in front of my eyes ... and the additions of Jason Arnott, and Dennis Wideman have paid huge dividends after the trade deadline. This has been a successful season.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
What's going on?
So, I guess now is as good as any time to come back around and write some musing thoughts into the interwebs for people to read. Things have not been good, personally, over the past month or so. I'd be lying if I told you they were. I just don't understand how someone reaches a point that he/she just won't return a text or a call or an email any longer. I don't think I'll ever understand it either. The analytical side of me fucking hates it. I don't have a reason as to why it happened, which makes it very hard to learn from this experience, and I don't have any closure, which in some respects kills me more than just the ending of things. Honestly, I'd get more out of "you're just not tall enough" than not talking to me at all. I'm lost trying to figure out the process of how it got to that, however I'm certain that I did something. Cause and Effect right. Like I said before, there are things that I just know nothing about.
For something happier though, the Caps have been playing well throughout the month. The trade deadline, earlier in the month, was huge for the team. GMGM picked up some key pieces, in order to plug holes, and bring in leadership for the playoffs. Plus Jason Arnott has a huge head, which the HD tele has to add 10 pounds to. The team seems to be coming together quite nicely ... now everyone just needs to get healthy. Playoff hockey starts in 3 weeks or so.
You know what else is in about 3 weeks? Stachefest 2011. An annual event of mustaches and 80's clothing to raise money for charity. This year my brother and I are bringing back the melodic tones of Simon and Garfunkel, for one night only. We might have to work on some "Bridge over Troubled Water" in order to give the crowd what they're really looking for. Also, this will be the first event that a photo book that I've created will be sold. "Baltimore in Black & White" will be auctioned off at Stachfest 2011, which is pretty cool. I'm also being paid to take pictures, for the first time. I have to start somewhere right?
So, I hope all is going well for everyone. Until I talk to you ... good morning, good afternoon, and good night.
For something happier though, the Caps have been playing well throughout the month. The trade deadline, earlier in the month, was huge for the team. GMGM picked up some key pieces, in order to plug holes, and bring in leadership for the playoffs. Plus Jason Arnott has a huge head, which the HD tele has to add 10 pounds to. The team seems to be coming together quite nicely ... now everyone just needs to get healthy. Playoff hockey starts in 3 weeks or so.
You know what else is in about 3 weeks? Stachefest 2011. An annual event of mustaches and 80's clothing to raise money for charity. This year my brother and I are bringing back the melodic tones of Simon and Garfunkel, for one night only. We might have to work on some "Bridge over Troubled Water" in order to give the crowd what they're really looking for. Also, this will be the first event that a photo book that I've created will be sold. "Baltimore in Black & White" will be auctioned off at Stachfest 2011, which is pretty cool. I'm also being paid to take pictures, for the first time. I have to start somewhere right?So, I hope all is going well for everyone. Until I talk to you ... good morning, good afternoon, and good night.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Waiting
This lyric sheet basically sums up most of my thoughts right now. I find it frustrating that there are still things in life that I just don't have a clue about. I don't even mean Quantum Physics or Space Travel type of shit either, things that you actually need to be smart in order to comprehend. Just life escapes me sometimes.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Retirement 2.0
Retirement 2.0 -- powered by livestrong.com
Well ... it's official. Lance Armstrong has retired from professional cycling, for good this time. This is also officially the second time I've cried when someone in sports has retired. Wayne Gretzky was first. I still remember that day in 1999. A little bit younger, yes, but no less knowledgeable about how much Gretzky meant to the growth of hockey in the United States ... how much Gretzky meant to the growth of hockey in my life. Lance Armstrong is now the second.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Super Sunday lives up to it's name
The highlight of Super Bowl Sunday was supposed to be hanging out with my new friend from Georgia, and taking her to her first hockey game. Capitals vs Penguins, sitting 2 rows into the upper deck ... on one of the louder regular season days for the Verizon Center faithful. Long story short, the day didn't start off as planned, and it was for a reason that was completely out of my control. But hey ... the game must go on, and go on it did. The Caps played a great game ...
... all over the ice. Fighting for loose change in front of Fleury, killing off penalties, scoring goals however they'll get in there, and ultimately shutting out the Pens. Marcus Johansson was absolutely fantastic throughout this whole game. Flying up and down the ice, killing penalties, and scoring short handed to put the Caps up 2-0. This was one of the best games I've seen Marcus play all season long. All in all, the Pens fans in the house were quiet throughout the whole game, and one even went as far to say (after the Caps were dominating play and already winning 2-0) that "the Caps/Pens game didn't matter too much because Pittsburgh fans were already planning the parade for the Super Bowl win." I've never heard of a fan base that turns so quickly to some clichéd response to get over their teams losing a game than the Pittsburgh fans. If you remember in the Winter Classic write-up, Pens fans first response, after losing in their home Winter Classic, was "well, how many Cups do you have?" ... and today was no different, as the Caps/Pens game wasn't even over before the Pens fans had already moved to the next thing they could feel empowered as a fan base about. As you've seen above, the Caps added a goal of the EN variety to close out a 3-0 shutout and begin what's going to end up being an amazing Super Bowl Sunday.
Herman ends up going to the game with me, rocking out his USA Ryan Miller jersey, and then him and his wife are hosting a Super Bowl party at their house. A quick stop off at the Lansdownne Inn for a couple beers, a round of Golden Tee (which I won again), and picking up some wings for the party before heading back to the party. By the time we get there, people have already filtered into the house to watch the Packers take on the Steelers. The game ends up being pretty boring, the halftime show was forced and somewhat awful, the party was a bit of a drunken mess, but at the end of the game green and yellow confetti was flying everywhere. The Packers just won the Super Bowl. I don't really care much about football, so this win doesn't mean much to me. I just like seeing the Pittsburgh fans eating their own words. I hope they still have their parade, I mean ... it's obviously been planned already.
... all over the ice. Fighting for loose change in front of Fleury, killing off penalties, scoring goals however they'll get in there, and ultimately shutting out the Pens. Marcus Johansson was absolutely fantastic throughout this whole game. Flying up and down the ice, killing penalties, and scoring short handed to put the Caps up 2-0. This was one of the best games I've seen Marcus play all season long. All in all, the Pens fans in the house were quiet throughout the whole game, and one even went as far to say (after the Caps were dominating play and already winning 2-0) that "the Caps/Pens game didn't matter too much because Pittsburgh fans were already planning the parade for the Super Bowl win." I've never heard of a fan base that turns so quickly to some clichéd response to get over their teams losing a game than the Pittsburgh fans. If you remember in the Winter Classic write-up, Pens fans first response, after losing in their home Winter Classic, was "well, how many Cups do you have?" ... and today was no different, as the Caps/Pens game wasn't even over before the Pens fans had already moved to the next thing they could feel empowered as a fan base about. As you've seen above, the Caps added a goal of the EN variety to close out a 3-0 shutout and begin what's going to end up being an amazing Super Bowl Sunday.
Herman ends up going to the game with me, rocking out his USA Ryan Miller jersey, and then him and his wife are hosting a Super Bowl party at their house. A quick stop off at the Lansdownne Inn for a couple beers, a round of Golden Tee (which I won again), and picking up some wings for the party before heading back to the party. By the time we get there, people have already filtered into the house to watch the Packers take on the Steelers. The game ends up being pretty boring, the halftime show was forced and somewhat awful, the party was a bit of a drunken mess, but at the end of the game green and yellow confetti was flying everywhere. The Packers just won the Super Bowl. I don't really care much about football, so this win doesn't mean much to me. I just like seeing the Pittsburgh fans eating their own words. I hope they still have their parade, I mean ... it's obviously been planned already.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Thoughts: In Random
Well ... it's been about a month since I last wrote something on this blog. I sure hope people don't show up here every day in order to see if I've written anything. If that was the case, I would feel like a shitbum for not doing anything.
Ironically, it's not even like I've been lazy or not writing anything. It's just that things I've been writing recently wouldn't make sense to anyone here, you wouldn't want to read about it anyway, it doesn't make sense to me, or it's thoughts and feelings that should only be distributed to close friends. Everything that I've written recently will probably be used at some point, in the future, to show myself how insane I was at this point of my life or how much things have changed. I'm really hoping I can look back on this and realize that what I was going through was a normal beginning to a great relationship.
I'm quite sorry if I'm writing in vagueness. To put it bluntly, I've found a really cute girl that I'm quite interested in. This doesn't happen very often to me, hell I think the last time was close to 5 years ago. I don't even mean that I rarely find girls that I'm interested in because that would show some kind of narcissistic tendency, like I feel I'm better than most girls. That's not it. It's just that I rarely find a girl that I'm interested in who will actually give me an opportunity to take her out and find out more about her. This has gone on for about a month now, but I just don't know what's going on anymore. At some points I think things are going well, and at others I feel like there's no reason to keep trying or that I'm honestly annoying her.
To switch up gears a bit, I've been trying to learn Italian. It's one of My 101 List that really needs to happen. The language seems to be close to French, which I find interesting that I still remember at all. Madame Powers, at Mt. St. Joe, would be proud that I've retained any French at all. Some words in Italian are close enough the French that I remember what they mean, and some words are not really close at all. I'm just in the stage 1 vocabulary section, so we'll see how much of this language I can actually learn. I'm going to give it a real try though and see what comes from it. Maybe I'll head back to Italy at some point. I've also been looking at houses that I could buy. After getting the remaining money from refereeing season, I finally feel like I'm financially set to make this jump. I know this is going to be a long process, but I'm hoping that within 3 months or so I'll be a first time home buyer and living on my own for the first time in my life. It'll be life changing and I'm looking forward to creating something for myself. I think I've narrowed thoughts down to what I'm looking for, but it'll just be whenever I can find something that'll suit my needs. I'm in a good spot though, even with Danny and Jaime getting married come May, I can stay there for a bit longer if needed. I'd rather not be there too long after that's done, but I fully understand this house buying process will not be short.
Outside of that, I don't have much more going on. So, now we're caught up on what's gone on for the past month or so. I honestly hope that you're not showing up on a daily basis to see what I write.
PS: Is it wrong that I would rock out 3/4th length pants?
Ironically, it's not even like I've been lazy or not writing anything. It's just that things I've been writing recently wouldn't make sense to anyone here, you wouldn't want to read about it anyway, it doesn't make sense to me, or it's thoughts and feelings that should only be distributed to close friends. Everything that I've written recently will probably be used at some point, in the future, to show myself how insane I was at this point of my life or how much things have changed. I'm really hoping I can look back on this and realize that what I was going through was a normal beginning to a great relationship.
I'm quite sorry if I'm writing in vagueness. To put it bluntly, I've found a really cute girl that I'm quite interested in. This doesn't happen very often to me, hell I think the last time was close to 5 years ago. I don't even mean that I rarely find girls that I'm interested in because that would show some kind of narcissistic tendency, like I feel I'm better than most girls. That's not it. It's just that I rarely find a girl that I'm interested in who will actually give me an opportunity to take her out and find out more about her. This has gone on for about a month now, but I just don't know what's going on anymore. At some points I think things are going well, and at others I feel like there's no reason to keep trying or that I'm honestly annoying her.
To switch up gears a bit, I've been trying to learn Italian. It's one of My 101 List that really needs to happen. The language seems to be close to French, which I find interesting that I still remember at all. Madame Powers, at Mt. St. Joe, would be proud that I've retained any French at all. Some words in Italian are close enough the French that I remember what they mean, and some words are not really close at all. I'm just in the stage 1 vocabulary section, so we'll see how much of this language I can actually learn. I'm going to give it a real try though and see what comes from it. Maybe I'll head back to Italy at some point. I've also been looking at houses that I could buy. After getting the remaining money from refereeing season, I finally feel like I'm financially set to make this jump. I know this is going to be a long process, but I'm hoping that within 3 months or so I'll be a first time home buyer and living on my own for the first time in my life. It'll be life changing and I'm looking forward to creating something for myself. I think I've narrowed thoughts down to what I'm looking for, but it'll just be whenever I can find something that'll suit my needs. I'm in a good spot though, even with Danny and Jaime getting married come May, I can stay there for a bit longer if needed. I'd rather not be there too long after that's done, but I fully understand this house buying process will not be short.
Outside of that, I don't have much more going on. So, now we're caught up on what's gone on for the past month or so. I honestly hope that you're not showing up on a daily basis to see what I write.
PS: Is it wrong that I would rock out 3/4th length pants?
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