Oh well... I saw this coming, honestly it's been coming for months now, but it doesn't mean I feel any better about it. I had gotten back the confidence to ask someone to hang out again... someone who lives on the other side of the world. Last year, this weekend was a pretty awesome weekend watching the Monaco Grand Prix with a girl that I fully appreciated as a person and actually made time to see and talk to. A girl that I set up my phone to ring and wake me in the middle of the night, if she ever needed me for anything. A girl that I would've moved to Australia to be with and seriously started talking to recruiters about PeopleSoft projects in Melbourne. A year ago... Seems like such a long time, as now this weekend she doesn't even have enough time to send a tweet back to me, or better yet doesn't care enough to make time. I knew it would be like this when you're dealing with a young kid... I mean, I haven't gotten a single thing from Australia that I was promised. No Fred Melbourne Heart jersey, no handmade beanie hat, no media guide from the Australia National Road Race, and no photo book of pictures that she took when she was younger. And I haven't really heard anything since I was dropped last fall, once she got out of the funk she was in throughout the year. I should've been prepared for disappointment... I should've known this was coming... I should've stopped caring quite awhile ago.
So, as of this morning, I've decided that I just don't have time for her anymore. I've stopped following or muted most all of the social media that she puts out there. At the end of the day, most of what she tweets or puts on Facebook is only there to garner attention anyway. She's basically what Laura was, when Laura had a fan club telling her how amazing she was.
I feel like I've lost someone that I was really close with though. I mean fuck, we spent most of July together last summer ... watching the Tour de France, listening to podcasts together, or talking to each other and getting to know each other on a different level. All in all, I did a lot for this girl last year, to help her out of whatever funk she had landed on in the beginning of the year, and for all that help I've got nothing to show for it for it now. Not even a friend with even enough time to sit down and watch an hour of F1 qualifying... something that's timed and only lasts that long.
It's not even that I was expecting anything... just maybe a friend that seemed to care about me. Oh well, the time I had with her was pretty awesome, and she's a girl that actually gets me. It's going to be tough for me to not care about her at all, but out of sight/out of mind ... right? I hope she pulls things together and finally realizes how cool she is and that she doesn't need all these people to tell her she's great ... hell, at some point all the people will be gone, just ask Laura, she knows better than anyone. It'll be nice though when she realizes what she's lost. I always envision girls moving on past me, and looking back at some point in their lives... during their bullshit marriages, or the bullshit relationships with the "perfect guy or girl", only to realize that I was the best person in their life and they just let me go.
